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One year ago today… August 27, 2008

Posted by Theresa Madden in Bible, Counseling, Faith, Family, Feelings, God, Grief, Journal, Love, Prayer, Testimony.
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One year ago today our world changed. Our son Steven was in a horrible car accident on Sunday, Aug. 26, 2007. And he died one day later Monday, Aug. 27, 2007 without ever regaining consciousness. Did I pray over him, absolutely. Did I long to see his eyes open one more time, his smile? Yes, with all my heart, YES. Just one time. Was it to be? No. In that time I knew, God prepared my heart and gave me the knowledge that Steven was not going to walk this earth anymore. Is there still grief? Yes, at times unbearable. But, it doesn’t consume my life (at least anymore). I don’t walk around in a daze like I did for the first little while, thinking I was doing ok, but in reality looking like I was going to shatter into a million pieces any second.

How have we gotten along? I have no answers for the rest of the family, we are all in different stages of grief, some still very angry and confused, some have run from God because they don’t understand.

I can only answer for myself. My hope is in Christ. I am confident that Steven will be in heaven when we get there. In January I did go to counseling for about 3 months, and it was good! Good, godly counsel is so important.

And these last couple of months I have been spending hours upon hours with the Lord. Really searching my heart. Going outside, alone with Him, my journal, my bible. His Word is truth and He is drawing me ever deeper into it. He is my salvation.

This is what He asks us to do. And these are His promises.
Hebrews 10:22 Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. NIV
James 4:8 Come near to God, and God will come near to you. NIV
Psalms 145:18 The Lord is near to all who call on Him, yes, to all who call on Him in truth. NIV

Psalms 73:28 But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge… NIV

God is so faithful, as I woke this morning I didn’t feel the sadness I had expected to feel. Just peace. His peace which passes all understanding.

Will I feel sadness today at times? Without a doubt.
Will I cry? Without a doubt, as right now testifies.
Will I dwell in that sadness? No.
Will I run to the Lord to comfort me? Yes
Will I pray for my family? Yes

Will I praise Him today? Yes – and everyday.

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Comments»

1. Theresa - August 27, 2008

What do you say to a parent that has had to bury a child? Theresa I just don’t know. I hate all the same platitudes that people give but….what do we say?

What an amazing way for you to draw nearer to God when some family members are pulling away. I have great respect for you and your strength.

No matter where you he is with you!
Love Ya’

2. HisLifeformine - August 29, 2008

Thank you Theresa for your kindness. That is what I am so grateful for, that no matter where I am, there He is also.

3. Nancy - August 30, 2008

Long time no talk girl! I am so proud of you and so glad to hear you process that event – I am sorry that I missed the “anniversary”, I’m not very good with dates. Know you are in my thoughts and prayers often!

4. HisLifeformine - August 31, 2008

Hi Nancy! So nice to see you 🙂 Thank you for your prayers.

5. Michelle - August 31, 2008

Thank you for this. You have spoken to my heart today. My gracious, the things we must go through in this life…it’s difficult to comprehend. My only hope is in Him.

Blessings and prayers!

6. HisLifeformine - August 31, 2008

Hi Michelle! My heart breaks for those who do not know Jesus when they have to go through life. I am grateful beyond words for His love, for the free gift of salvation. Thank you for your prayers.
Bless you today my friend.

7. darla - September 1, 2008

I ♥ you! praying for you tonight…you inspire me with your faith

8. manymeadows - September 1, 2008

Thanks so much for sharing this experience. Your honest faith is a reassurance that the rest of us could make it through anything. Praying for you.

9. HisLifeformine - September 2, 2008

@Darla, thank you for your prayers. I heart you too!

10. HisLifeformine - September 2, 2008

@manymeadows Thank you for your prayers and for coming by.

11. cathi stegall - September 3, 2008

as a woman who hopes to be a mom someday, I pray that i might have your heart/spirit/love/grace…

12. HisLifeformine - September 4, 2008

@Cathi you have blessed me today. Thank you!


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