jump to navigation

Fearless by Max Lucado September 8, 2009

Posted by Theresa Madden in Bible, Book Review, Faith, Feelings, God.
Tags: , ,
1 comment so far

Living fearless. What an idea, one not really thought of on a daily basis. The more we practice living fearless the easier it becomes. Finding the many faces and facets of fear and finding the way to overcome them. To replace them with truth. Finding the way to live fearless in the verses found in God’s Word.

‘Fearless’ by Max Lucado is a book that addresses many types of fear. I love the titles of the chapters, it seems that the titles really bring into focus the message of the chapter itself. The key words in the title open the door to better understand and relate the fear that we feel to something tangible.

Each chapter is laced with scripture to counteract the fears talked about. Also he has stories that so many of us can relate too. Watch for the jokes too! Who would have thought that you could joke in a book about fear? Actually the book isn’t about fear, it is about overcoming fear. We are given the tools to fight and win the battle.

The discussion guide in the back that may be used in small group settings or for individual study. Each lesson has three parts: Examining Fear, Exposing Fear, Battling Fear. It asks some really good questions, helps us to pinpoint the fear and gives scripture to battle the fear.

I really like this book and highly recommend it. Who of us hasn’t struggled with fear at some point? This is an easy read and one to keep in the library.

Advertisements

The Road Where Steven Died May 23, 2009

Posted by Theresa Madden in Bible, Counseling, Family, Feelings, Grief, Thoughts.
Tags: , , , ,
2 comments

I grew up going up and down Highway 38 to the coast. So many times I’ve traveled that road, and it has always been Highway 38.

Today I realized it is not Highway 38 anymore.

Today was the first day I have traveled that road in over 2 years. I haven’t been on it since before my son Steven was in his accident. I did not go and see where it happened. I did not want to. I didn’t want to memorialize where he lost his life, to see the awful sight. I wanted to remember him in my heart.

Today on the spur of the moment we went to the coast. A few miles outside of town it dawned on me that we were on ‘the road where Steven died’. Then the turmoil in my heart and mind began. Did I want to know where, did I not want to know where?

Did I search all the way to the coast the areas where I thought it could have been from the remembered description? Yes. And on the way back did I search again? Yes. All the while not sure if I really wanted to know or not.

When Steven died my daughter in law Shyla and I requested that no flowers be put there. No markers. I feel it is so morbid. Why do that when all it brings is more grief. Then going back again and again to relive it. No thank you.

Today is a day of so many mixed emotions. Do I bust out crying or hold it in. If you know me, you know I am a master at holding it in. For over 30 years I thought that I couldn’t cry…once is enough and the mourning is over. Thankfully I did go to counseling about 6 months after Steven died and learn that is not the case. It is okay and good. I do feel a little off now, I think that is why. It’s a weird almost sick feeling, and yes I’m going to cry. Again, mourning my children; Steven and Karen who he has now joined in heaven with Jesus. I cannot say that they were taken before their time, or taken too early.  I cannot say no parent should lose a child. I cannot say no one should lose a spouse. I cannot say my children should not lose a brother. I cannot say my grandchildren should not have lost their father. Who am I to say that? Only the Lord knows if it is 1 day, 1 year or 29 years.  Psalm 139.15 All the days ordained for me  were written in your book before one of them came to be. HE knows every moment, every breath we will take. HE knows the lives we will touch, in our living and in our dying. And in that, I will trust the LORD.

The road…one of these days perhaps I’ll ask one of the people who knows where it happened and have them show me. There are only 3 in my family that know. I’m not sure yet. I’m almost afraid to know. Afraid that will become a focus when I drive down the road and I don’t want it to be. I didn’t go see the pickup either for the same reason. Why have that in my head to replay the picture.   From the descriptions at the time I already have a picture, but not so graphic and one that will fade more as time goes on.

Highway 38 is now ‘the road where Steven died’.

Blacklight Special December 27, 2008

Posted by Theresa Madden in Feelings, God, Love.
Tags: , , ,
5 comments

My bloggy friends son is in this presentation. A.MA.ZING!!!

I think healing is taking place November 12, 2008

Posted by Theresa Madden in Faith, Family, Feelings, God, Grief, Love.
Tags: , ,
7 comments

I think healing has really begun taking place in our family. It is such a slow process. Now that our girls are living back at home temporarily we are able to really love on each other and support each other.
When our 29 year old son Steven was killed in a car accident in August 2007 Katie was 12 hours away attending college. Amanda was living at home, she moved out in December of 2007 to be on her own.
Katie really had no one to talk to, or get hugs from, or understand what she was going through. Amanda was grieving silently as well. We would talk occasionally, mostly just hugs and crying. Avoidance seemed to be the best way to deal with it. Not talking about him, because to talk meant to cry. To cry hard. We all were hanging on by a thread
Last evening we were all just being together, playing Wii and having fun, laughing. And today, sitting around visiting, comfortable. And laughing, oh it is sooo good to laugh again, freely. As a family together, I just really felt today that we are starting to heal. The girls went up to see our daughter-in-law and grandchildren for a few days last week. They had a nice visit, and she (dil) opened up with them a bit. She needs so much prayer, I don’t get to see her or the grand-kids nearly as often as I would like.

And today, I think maybe I can write to the recipient of Steven’s heart. We received a letter from him a few months ago, from the Donor Center. I have held on to it, hoping one day to be able to communicate. I don’t know what I will write yet or even if the communication will stop at this one letter. Do I know yet if I could actually meet him? If I could hug him? Lay my head on his chest? Feel Steven’s heart beating, hear it? No. If it is to be, it will be the Lord’s doing.
I know that there are others who were given a second chance, we know a bit about them, their first names, ages, states and family situations. I think in all Steven was able to help 4 people.

I believe with all my heart, my Savior and Lord Jesus has kept us together. He has walked with us every step of the journey. Giving us strength when we had none, helping us to get through one day at a time, one hour at a time. The many changes that have taken place in this last year, many so hard to bear. There have been good things too, and for those blessings I am eternally grateful.

Thank you Lord for your many blessings. Father, for so much that I am not even aware of. So many ways You have protected us and loved us.

2 Corinthians 1:2-4 (NIV)
3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

I AM lesson 8 September 9, 2008

Posted by Theresa Madden in Bible, Faith, Feelings, God, I AM...so you don't have to be, Love, Prayer, Testimony, Thoughts.
Tags: , , ,
add a comment

1. Have you ever been in a situation where you had to ‘go back’ to a place of shame or ridicule? How did that make you feel? Awful, selfish, sad, remorseful.

2. Is there any circumstance in your life that still has you running for cover? Share if you feel comfortable. No.

3. When is the last time you felt like an overcomer? When the Lord and I spent most of the day (08/08/08) sitting together on my back patio working on My Pitcher.

4. If you have not yet taken the serpent by the tail, are you willing to stop running, take hold and trust God to transform it into a tool for wonders? I’ve taken hold and am trusting God.

5. I would like for you to write down this statement based on 1 John 2:14 somewhere you will see it often this week: “I am strong, the Word of God abides in me, and I have overcome the evil one.” Memorize it. Say it over and over until you believe it. Will you do this?? Most of the time, there are no right or wrong answers, but on this one, I’m expecting a ‘yes’! Yes.

One year ago today… August 27, 2008

Posted by Theresa Madden in Bible, Counseling, Faith, Family, Feelings, God, Grief, Journal, Love, Prayer, Testimony.
Tags: , , , ,
12 comments

One year ago today our world changed. Our son Steven was in a horrible car accident on Sunday, Aug. 26, 2007. And he died one day later Monday, Aug. 27, 2007 without ever regaining consciousness. Did I pray over him, absolutely. Did I long to see his eyes open one more time, his smile? Yes, with all my heart, YES. Just one time. Was it to be? No. In that time I knew, God prepared my heart and gave me the knowledge that Steven was not going to walk this earth anymore. Is there still grief? Yes, at times unbearable. But, it doesn’t consume my life (at least anymore). I don’t walk around in a daze like I did for the first little while, thinking I was doing ok, but in reality looking like I was going to shatter into a million pieces any second.

How have we gotten along? I have no answers for the rest of the family, we are all in different stages of grief, some still very angry and confused, some have run from God because they don’t understand.

I can only answer for myself. My hope is in Christ. I am confident that Steven will be in heaven when we get there. In January I did go to counseling for about 3 months, and it was good! Good, godly counsel is so important.

And these last couple of months I have been spending hours upon hours with the Lord. Really searching my heart. Going outside, alone with Him, my journal, my bible. His Word is truth and He is drawing me ever deeper into it. He is my salvation.

This is what He asks us to do. And these are His promises.
Hebrews 10:22 Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. NIV
James 4:8 Come near to God, and God will come near to you. NIV
Psalms 145:18 The Lord is near to all who call on Him, yes, to all who call on Him in truth. NIV

Psalms 73:28 But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge… NIV

God is so faithful, as I woke this morning I didn’t feel the sadness I had expected to feel. Just peace. His peace which passes all understanding.

Will I feel sadness today at times? Without a doubt.
Will I cry? Without a doubt, as right now testifies.
Will I dwell in that sadness? No.
Will I run to the Lord to comfort me? Yes
Will I pray for my family? Yes

Will I praise Him today? Yes – and everyday.