jump to navigation

Guest post on sovereignty August 5, 2009

Posted by Theresa Madden in God.
Tags:
2 comments

There’s an excellent post on the sovereignty of God here.

Advertisements

Heaven and Earth May 29, 2009

Posted by Theresa Madden in Bible, Faith, God, Music, Testimony.
Tags: , , , ,
2 comments

I changed my theme again and I was thinking that I liked it okay. The next day I actually looked at it and realized – the header goes perfectly with the scripture I keep in my sidebar.

Whom have I in heaven but You? And earth has nothing I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Ps. 73:25-26 NIV

So now I really like it, and it brings to mind the song ‘Glory in the Highest’ by Chris Tomlin.  And here it is with words and pictures. Beautiful!

 

The Road Where Steven Died May 23, 2009

Posted by Theresa Madden in Bible, Counseling, Family, Feelings, Grief, Thoughts.
Tags: , , , ,
2 comments

I grew up going up and down Highway 38 to the coast. So many times I’ve traveled that road, and it has always been Highway 38.

Today I realized it is not Highway 38 anymore.

Today was the first day I have traveled that road in over 2 years. I haven’t been on it since before my son Steven was in his accident. I did not go and see where it happened. I did not want to. I didn’t want to memorialize where he lost his life, to see the awful sight. I wanted to remember him in my heart.

Today on the spur of the moment we went to the coast. A few miles outside of town it dawned on me that we were on ‘the road where Steven died’. Then the turmoil in my heart and mind began. Did I want to know where, did I not want to know where?

Did I search all the way to the coast the areas where I thought it could have been from the remembered description? Yes. And on the way back did I search again? Yes. All the while not sure if I really wanted to know or not.

When Steven died my daughter in law Shyla and I requested that no flowers be put there. No markers. I feel it is so morbid. Why do that when all it brings is more grief. Then going back again and again to relive it. No thank you.

Today is a day of so many mixed emotions. Do I bust out crying or hold it in. If you know me, you know I am a master at holding it in. For over 30 years I thought that I couldn’t cry…once is enough and the mourning is over. Thankfully I did go to counseling about 6 months after Steven died and learn that is not the case. It is okay and good. I do feel a little off now, I think that is why. It’s a weird almost sick feeling, and yes I’m going to cry. Again, mourning my children; Steven and Karen who he has now joined in heaven with Jesus. I cannot say that they were taken before their time, or taken too early.  I cannot say no parent should lose a child. I cannot say no one should lose a spouse. I cannot say my children should not lose a brother. I cannot say my grandchildren should not have lost their father. Who am I to say that? Only the Lord knows if it is 1 day, 1 year or 29 years.  Psalm 139.15 All the days ordained for me  were written in your book before one of them came to be. HE knows every moment, every breath we will take. HE knows the lives we will touch, in our living and in our dying. And in that, I will trust the LORD.

The road…one of these days perhaps I’ll ask one of the people who knows where it happened and have them show me. There are only 3 in my family that know. I’m not sure yet. I’m almost afraid to know. Afraid that will become a focus when I drive down the road and I don’t want it to be. I didn’t go see the pickup either for the same reason. Why have that in my head to replay the picture.   From the descriptions at the time I already have a picture, but not so graphic and one that will fade more as time goes on.

Highway 38 is now ‘the road where Steven died’.

I AM lesson 10 December 15, 2008

Posted by Theresa Madden in Faith, God, I AM...so you don't have to be.
Tags: ,
3 comments

 

 
1. Have you ever experienced trials that were best dealt with “in the family” for either your reputation’s sake or God’s? You may still choose to leave them there, but you are welcome to share if you are comfortable.
No.
2. Have you ever found yourself in a bizarre circumstance and later were able to walk someone through the same/similar situation? Did you recognize the hand of God in it?
My mind draws a blank here. I have been in bizarre circumstances and I know that one day God will use it,  just not yet that I’m aware of or can bring to mind.
3. I was in my late twenties before I ever let myself believe God was for me instead of waiting to smack me upside the head every time I made a mistake. Do you truly believe God is on your side?
Absolutely! I let me get in the way a lot of the time, but I trust that God truly is for me.
4. If God has ever had you in the Holy Spirit Chokehold (and who hasn’t He?), how have you reacted to God’s chastisement? Were you bitter? Brokenhearted? Grateful?
Oh yeah. I think I have gone through all the stages at one time or another. Bitter and brokenhearted for removal from a situation, then brokenhearted that I was bitter for being removed, brokenhearted that God had to put me in the “Holy Spirit Chokehold”. And grateful, so grateful that He loves me enough to do that.
5. Write a brief prayer of Thanksgiving for God’s longsuffering.
Father God, I love you so much and am so grateful for your patience – your longsuffering. Some lessons I must learn time and again before they really sink in, before Your Truth really resides in me. You endure so much for me, have endured so much for me. Forgive me for my stubbornness, help me Lord to hear You, to obey You the first time. For Your glory, Your kingdom. In Jesus name, amen.

Samuel’s Ear December 11, 2008

Posted by Theresa Madden in Faith, God, Prayer.
Tags: ,
6 comments

Oh give me Samuel’s ear
An open ear O Lord
Alive and quick to hear
Each whisper of Thy word
Like him to answer to Thy call
And to obey Thee
First of all.

I heard Bill Hybel’s quote this a couple of weeks ago on lifechurch.tv. I do not know who originally said it, Bill memorized it as a little boy. And it resonates within me. So much so that I had to listen again and I had to write it down. Now it resides on my desk at work, in my phone, on my pc.
Most of all I want it to reside in my heart and mind.
Do you have a quote or prayer that has touched a chord in you? Will you share?

Cry Out November 17, 2008

Posted by Theresa Madden in Bible, God, Love, Prayer.
Tags: , ,
7 comments

I cried out to the Lord, and He answered me from His holy mountain. Ps. 3:4

All I have to do is cry out to Him, He will answer me! It is me who doesn’t always cry out. The Lord always answers, He is just waiting to be asked. Thank you Lord for always being there, always.
I am so glad He knows my heart, the deepest part that I don’t even know. And that knowing all there is to know about me, He still loves me unconditionally, with a love I cannot imagine. The wonderful thing is, that I do get to experience it!
The Lord loves us all, each and every one. He knows each of our hearts. We can ALL experience that love. Learning to walk in that love is a free gift to everyone who cries out, to everyone who believes. Cry out! Cry out!!!